HANCOCK COUNTY — This Thanksgiving will be the first in 45 years that Bonnie Fry has not gotten up at the crack of dawn to prepare an elaborate meal for her family.
Although she and her husband, their three children and young grandchildren all live in Hancock County, the family has opted to spend the holiday in their own homes, to keep everyone safe from possible exposure to COVID-19.
“It’s sad, but the sacrifice is worth it to keep everyone safe. It’s just a crazy world right now,” said Fry, 75.
Her main fear is that this unprecedented holiday could forever change the course of how her family celebrates Thanksgiving.
“Given the age my husband and I are, we don’t know how many years we’ll be up for the normal Thanksgiving and Christmas that we’ve always had in the past. That’s what I’m kind of fearful of. We don’t know how many years that we’ll be able to just pick up and (host) like we normally did,” said Fry, who lives in Charlottesville with her husband, Anthony, 83.
This year will mark an unprecedented type of Thanksgiving for many Americans as the world continues to battle an ever-worsening pandemic.
Many are forgoing their usual big gatherings to celebrate in smaller groups, or even opting to stay home alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on Thursday, Nov. 19, urged people not to travel at all for the holiday.
The CDC’s Dr. Erin Sauber-Schatz cited more than 1 million new cases in the United States over the past week as the reason for the new guidance.
“The safest way to celebrate Thanksgiving this year is at home with the people in your household,” she said, according to a story distributed by The Associated Press.
Local caterer Joyce Holmes has taken caution to heart. This will be the first time in over a decade that she hasn’t entertained a group of 45 or so relatives at her home.
Instead, the Greenfield woman will be cooking for a smaller group of 10, including her husband, two of their sons and their wives and kids. A third son has opted not to travel from out of state to play it safe with COVID.
In recent years, her family’s Thanksgiving gathering had grown so large that they started renting out a gathering space at NineStar Connect in Greenfield.
Hosting a smaller group will definitely be less stressful than it has been in years past, Holmes said, but she’d much prefer seeing her family all gathered under one roof.
Shannon Swindell said her local family members are blessed to be able to gather this Thanksgiving since they already spend so much time together operating the family business — Swindell Farm Equipment in Wilkinson.
Still, there will be fewer aunts, uncles and cousins gathered around the dining table this year.
Swindell, who will be cooking for six adults and seven kids, has put some forethought into ways to keep the youngest family members entertained.
“I know the kids are going to be stir crazy because their cousins won’t be there, so I’ve been thinking of ways to keep them busy. For example, every year I look for these really cool coloring tablecloths where kids can color and play games like tic-tac-toe,” she said.
Even families who are spending Thanksgiving Day apart, however, can still interact and connect thanks to the power of technology.
Mason Smith, a technician at WowLinks in Greenfield, said technology can keep families connected this holiday season.
Zoom calls, FaceTime and online gaming can all help people feel connected in a year when so families will be kept apart.
“I personally think it’s great that we have all this technology during a time like this to keep us connected. Ten years ago, we would not have had all these tools, so it would have been a lot more challenging,” he said.
Smith, 20, who is Fry’s grandson, will be spending this Thanksgiving at home with his mom in eastern Hancock County, although he’s considered asking his grandmother if she’d like to take part in some sort of food exchange, perhaps at a safe distance, like leaving dishes on the porch.
“I’ve heard some people are doing that this year. It sounds like a good idea,” he said.
As a tech expert, Smith will no doubt be recruited to make sure his extended family’s Zoom call goes smoothly on Thanksgiving Day.
Those who have iPhones might opt to simply use the FaceTime feature, while android smartphone users can correspond using an app called Google Duos, which is installed in android phones by default. Other software programs like Skype are also widely available.
On Thanksgiving Day, Smith will be coordinating a Zoom call with about 10 family members who will be socially distanced at their own homes.
For many, being connected virtually this Thanksgiving will be better than not being connected at all.
That family connection is more important than ever this time of year, said Kristina Graber, a licensed marriage and family therapist who owns Origins Family Counseling in Greenfield.
“I know this year has been hard on a lot of people,” Graber said.
“I’ve heard from many who are disappointed at not being able to have the traditional Thanksgiving, of not having the extended family around this year.”
Rather than push down those negative feelings related to the altered holiday this year, Graber encourages her clients to find a different way to embrace the holiday.
“I encourage them to acknowledge the emotions that they’re feeling and come to a place where you can accept the situation, even though it’s not the way you want it to be,” she said.
“We talk about looking for ways to reframe the experience, finding the things you can control, like finding opportunities to spend some quality time with your more immediate family,” she said.
Graber said this year’s socially distanced holiday will be hardest on those who have no family nearby, who are primarily going to be spending the holidays alone.
She encourages her clients to connect using technology like Zoom and FaceTime, and exploring ways to play virtual games with family and friends.
If anything, Graber said, this unprecedented holiday season may just teach us to appreciate our friends and family all the more.
“That old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder can be true,” Graber said. “We are kind of wired to connect with others, so being apart at special times like this can be a real struggle.”
For many people around the world, this Thanksgiving will mark the first spent without loved ones — including many who have died from COVID-19. More than a quarter million Americans have already died from the disease.
Fry knows that life is short, and she’s not sure how many more years she and her husband will be around to celebrate the holidays with their children and grandchildren.
That’s why, even though they won’t be celebrating under the same roof, she aims to make the most of this Thanksgiving. She is looking forward to the Zoom call that will connect them all on Thanksgiving Day, even if just for a little while.
Despite the sadness over being apart, she is able to look on the bright side.
Since she’s only cooking for herself and her husband this year, she might just sleep in, put her feet up and enjoy watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade — something she’s never had time to enjoy before because she was always so busy cooking a full spread of turkey, mashed potatoes and all the fixings.
“I’m honestly kind of looking forward to not being so tired when it’s all over with,” she said with a grin.
[sc:pullout-title pullout-title=”Inside” ][sc:pullout-text-begin]
Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time or for the first time in a long time? Experts advise to keep it simple. Page A6
[sc:pullout-text-end]
