There’s a verse in Isaiah 40 that says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
When is the last time you felt weary and weak — like it’s not just that you had a bad day, but you had a rough year? Now it feels like you have nothing left in you. Do you want to quit? Do you want to run away?
I had a mild case of this type of weariness a few weeks ago.
In the midst of that slump, one evening I went into the pantry to grab a few items for dinner, and this resolution and prayer came to me:
I’m going to keep showing up. Lord, renew my strength.
I remember the first time my emotional health absolutely nosedived a few years ago. Because of my life circumstances, I had sensed it coming, so I started seeing a counselor, and I even went to the doctor to check on my overall health.
Yet after months of that, my situation and my emotional health didn’t seem to be better. I felt so weary and so worn.
One day I was driving home with one of my teenage daughters in the car. I don’t know how the argument got started. Maybe she was complaining about something I wasn’t letting her do.
I looked her square in the eye and said, “Honey, I’M ABOUT TO LOSE IT.”
By the serious look in my eye, she knew what I meant. I wasn’t exaggerating.
I was on edge.
I was about to snap.
My daughter was quiet in the passenger seat beside me as I pulled the car into the garage. I watched her walk into the house, and I could tell by the way she walked, her head down and her shoulders sunken — she understood exactly what I had meant.
If I snapped, it wouldn’t be good for anyone. If I lost it, all the things we had hoped for in our future probably wouldn’t happen.
But in that moment, as I watched her visibly carry discouragement on her face and shoulders, my heart softened again. I went to her and pulled her into a hug. I whispered in her ear, “I love you. I’m not giving up.”
I’m going to keep showing up. Lord, renew my strength.
Maybe it’s like this for you, too. Some days you’re moving and grooving, but then one more burden drops on your heart.
And now your mind is dizzy. Now you feel paralyzed.
You didn’t know you had been this close to your breaking point. Or maybe you had suspected it. Either way, here it is.
I wish this weren’t a struggle for me. But more often than not, I have to push myself to persevere.
I have to repeat it to myself.
I’m going to keep showing up. Lord, renew my strength.
Mary Nolen is director of women’s and children’s ministries at Brookville Road Community Church in New Palestine. She is author of “She Won’t Shrink Back: A Story of Building and Believing.” This weekly column is written by local clergy members.
