As parents, we try to protect our children while showing them love, compassion and how to be a good person in general. We teach them their ABCs, 123s, how to tie their shoes, how to read and write. One life lesson we now have to teach them is how to handle bullying. In today’s world, so many children are going through this.
But why should this even be something we need to teach our kids?
It’s very hard to be the mother of a child on the autism spectrum. It’s more emotionally hard than anything. I have watched my child endure bullying throughout his time in school.
But I don’t see this as a simple “kids being kids” problem. Kids who are considered different — kids who can’t, won’t, or don’t know how to defend themselves — are continuously singled out. Children are taunted to the point where their anxiety becomes so bad, they don’t want to attend school.
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According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school daily for fear of bullying.
Indiana schools reported 5,604 bullying incidents for 2017-18 school year, a 24 percent increase from 2016-17. This statistic represents only reported incidents.
According to an article in the Greenfield Daily Reporter (“Hancock County schools report fewer bullying incidents,” Feb. 24, 2017), Hancock County’s 21 schools turned in 125 bullying reports for the 2014-15 school year.
I don’t believe these numbers accurately reflect the problem. My child has been physically bullied by other students at least eight times in the past two years. Reports pulled from the Indiana Department of Education show only one bullying incident from the 2017-18 school year in my child’s district, and it is from the high school. Countywide, only a dozen incidents were reported.
Why are so few incidents being reported here?
Let’s focus on the alarming bullying-related suicide rates. According to the Centers for Disease Control and prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death in the 10 to 24 age group at an average of 4,600 deaths per year. The CDC also reports an average of 3,041 suicide attempts per day among the nation’s high schoolers.
A British study at bullyingstatistics.org found at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying. Girls age 10 to 14 are at higher risk for suicide. Another study at prp.jasonfoundation.com lists suicide as the second-leading cause of death for the same age group.
More young people are dying from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, strokes, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease combined.
The youngest suicide reported was a 7-year-old boy from the Detroit area. He was found hanging from his bunk bed by his 14-year-old sister.
I recently read an article in the Greenfield Daily Reporter titled “A Need Uncovered” (Oct. 11, Page A1). This article and so many others make me wonder what’s being done? We hear our children telling us what’s going on in our schools and community. We see signs of suicide, depression, drug use, anxiety and a long list of other issues our kids are facing. It all boils down to what’s being done? We read articles in the papers about bullying. We tell kids bullying other kids is not OK. We have guest speakers come to our schools and discuss bullying.
Do we see results? Does anything change after all that?
I asked my children and several others if bullying stops after presentations and classroom discussions. The repeated answer: no, no, no.
Here are some questions to think about and discuss.
1. What is your child’s definition of bullying?
2. Is your child a victim of bullying?
3. Would you want to know if your child was a bully?
4. If you learned your child was a bully, would you do something about it?
5. Would your child step up if another student was being bullied?
We wonder why our kids do drugs. Why do they run away? Why do kids commit suicide? Why are their grades dropping? Why has their behavior changed?
And a big question: Why are these kids going into schools and shooting students and staff members?
Are we teaching our children to be kind? Are we teaching them to understand we are all created differently?
Hearing my child tell me he doesn’t want to go back to school, he’s tired, he hates his life, he doesn’t want to go back to school because of the kids, he wants to die brings tears to my eyes, my heart and soul. Not only does he have to live life on the spectrum and deal with his own issues, but he has these to add to his daily struggle. How is he supposed to learn or want to learn when this is what’s going on?
Imagine living with autism daily, then going to school or a library after school and dealing with kids smacking you on the back of your head as you walk down the halls, or punching you in the temple in the locker room because they know you won’t fight back! Imagine kids breaking pencils and stabbing you with them. Imagine getting a drink of water as a kid comes from behind and smacks the back of your head. Imagine being outside for recess and a group of kids surround you, throw you to the ground and kick and hit you.
Even after many school visits and phone calls, it continues to happen. The kids don’t stop.
Parents, teachers, lawmakers and community, it’s our duty to stop bullying and protect our kids. Go to the Indiana Department of Education website to read about the laws on what qualifies as bullying and reach out to your school for change. Parents need to take a stand to stop this behavior and teach compassion. School systems need tougher punishments against bullying. I am just one voice, but I’m the voice of a mom with a child who wants to give up living. Please help me help my son and every other student who goes through this daily.
Amber Seacat is a resident of Greenfield and the mother of two children. Send comments to [email protected].
