FORTVILLE — For 35 years, Terry Kirschner has been sitting on her husband’s sideline at football games. Friday, however, will be the first time she has to think twice about it.
When her husband, Mike Kirschner, played football at Warren Central, she was on his sideline. When he served as an assistant coach there, she was on his sideline. When he landed his first head coaching job at Cascade High School, she was on his sideline. When he led Ben Davis to two state championships, she was on his sideline.
In his first game leading Mt. Vernon on Friday, she’ll be on his sideline.
So why does this game stand out from the rest?
On Friday, she’ll be sitting opposite her own son.
Jon Kirschner, son of Mike and Terry, will take the field as a head coach for the first time on Friday.
After 10 seasons as an assistant coach, Jon is being given his first opportunity to lead a program.
For any coach to be successful, he’s got to get his first win.
The only problem is, for Jon Kirschner, that win will have to be wrangled not only from a defending state champion, but from his dad.
“To be a head coach and this be my first ever head coaching experience and the first time I’m ever being a head coach of a real football game, an actual game, and then it be him and him at a new job, it’s intense,” Jon said.
Even though, on a literal level, only a game will take place on Friday, it represents much more for both coaches.
“Overall, the idea of it being family and how deeply rooted football is in our family,” Jon said, about what adds significance to the game. “I know it’s all joking and what-not, the fun trash talk and things like that. It’s still tough. I just want it to be a game, but for my family it’s just not a game. It probably is just a game to everybody else, but to us, my dad and I will never think it is just a game.”
For the Kirschners, football is family. Family, to a large extent, is football. Those things have always gone together.
Now, for the first time, they get pitted against each other.
“I don’t want to see him fail,” Mike Kirschner said of his son. “I want to see him succeed, but this is one of those where I have to win too. I can’t sit here and say I don’t want to win, because I do want to win.”
The Kirschners are trying to separate football from family, if only for a few hours. But decades of fusion between those concepts makes it exceptionally difficult.
“It’s a lot of emotion, and with it, it’s underlying what nobody really knows about for me,” Jon said. “I’ve got a lot of weight on my shoulders right now with this coming up for a lot of reasons.”
Making it more difficult on the field for both of them is the fact that the two have very similar coaching styles.
Jon said that being tough, hard-nosed and disciplined are just some ways that the two are similar. Beyond that, though, is the family mentality.
For each of them, their football team isn’t just expected to be football team. They are expected to be a family.
The two have also had remarkably similar career paths. They both have been offensive line coaches. They both are currently special teams coordinators. They both are strength coaches. They both have taught economics. And, according to Jon, they both know how to get the most out of their players.
“If he’s demanding something, I’m demanding the same thing,” Jon said. “Even when he was toughest on us in high school, I’m tough at times, very similar to the way he was tough on us because I know what it took to make us successful.”
Both agree that the most important similarity between them is the fact that they each seek to improve the lives of their players above all else.
“I know it’s a cliche, but it’s not so much about the wins and losses as the memories and the friendships that are built and forged over time that are never replaceable,” Mike said. “You kind of forget what happens in games but you don’t forget the people along the way.”
Jon has tried to emulate that mentality as long as he’s been a coach. In fact, it’s what made him want to get into the profession originally.
“The kinds of influences that he’s had on the kids, being teacher of the year and chosen for awards, stuff like that, that’s the kind of impact that I wanted to have,” Jon said. “Very fortunately, in the past 10 years teaching, I feel like I’ve had those types of impacts. How he’s interacted with kids has been an influence for me, how I teach, how I coach.”
Jon began impacting the lives of students even before he graduated high school.
Mike recalls a story from Ben Davis, when he was an assistant coach and Jon was a player, that exemplifies this attitude.
Another assistant coach pulled Mike aside and told him what he had been observing.
Jon had been staying after practice two to three times a week with two players who had promise but lacked motivation. He would explain to them why it was important that they worked hard, why it was important that they showed up every day and why they had inherent value to the team.
The players were able to gain the motivation that they were lacking and both ended up playing football at Indiana University and being key contributors to their Ben Davis team.
“He doesn’t have to do that,” Mike said. “He does it because he sees the value in them. I thought that was really neat for a kid that was a junior in high school to step out of his comfort zone. That told me a little bit about my son’s character.”
If Jon has been able to harness that power of motivation once more at Hamilton Heights, things could get more difficult for Mt. Vernon in Week 1.
If Hamilton Heights is able to pull out a victory, Jon says it will be bittersweet.
“From a head coaching standpoint, I want to get that first win,” Jon said. “It just so happens to be that it might be my first win or vice versa and it’s going to be against blood.”
The term ‘lose-lose situation’ has been thrown around among the two.
“If we win, I’m going to feel bad for him,” Mike said. “I want him to feel good. I want him to be happy.”
Terry Kirschner will once again sit on her husband’s sideline in Week 1. But she may be alone.
Mike has encouraged the rest of his family, including his two 80-something grandparents, to sit on the Hamilton Heights side.
No matter what happens though, the entire family will try their best to leave the game on the field.
“At the end of the day, he’s planning on coming to my house Saturday,” Mike said. “We’re still father and son, it’s just a game, and that’s the end of it.”
