GREENFIELD — Connie Keck clung to her big sister growing up, latching on the way a child does when she doesn’t know where else to turn.
Their mother was addicted to gambling, gone more often than not, out chasing a good day. She left for good when Keck turned 12. Keck’s father took off for Florida a few years later, leaving the girls behind.
Keck of Greenfield remembers those early years, when she’d tag along with her sister and her teenage friends, drink a beer or smoke a joint to fit in. For three years, she ducked child services caseworkers who visited the apartment where she’d been left behind.
And she coped the only way she ever learned how. Pot and alcohol eventually led to pills, then harder drugs. On more than one occasion, jail.
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Click here to purchase photos from this galleryKeck, now 33, has a hard time recognizing the person she once was — the hurt girl who picked fights at bars just to feel something and popped pills when those feelings grew overwhelming.
Today, she’s a leader of Celebrate Recovery group at Brandywine Community Church in Greenfield, dedicated to helping others overcome their own addictions.
Often, the stories she hears from people who come to her recovery group bear echoes of her past. Keck wants to help guide those suffering souls through the process, to the healthier place she calls home.
She knows how. She was one of them, too.
Hancock County offers five support groups aimed at guiding people through the process of overcoming drug or alcohol addiction. And often, the people at the front of the room are experts not because of their backgrounds in medicine or therapy — but because they once sat in those seats.
They work alongside professionals to relate to the people whose struggles they know firsthand, who often fear judgment from those who promise to help them.
And that, experts say, is a powerful combination.
It’s empowering to both the leader and the led to talk about addiction as a shared experience, said Susan Elsworth, director of Indiana NOFAS, a subsidiary of Mental Health America Indiana that works with families facing addiction.
She’s seen the impact of bringing together those currently struggling with those who have made it through to sobriety. She points to programming made possible by a recent grant from the Indiana Addictions Issues Coalition, which funded training for peer recovery coaches across the state.
The program allowed for those who had maintained their sobriety for a year to train and become certified as peer recovery coaches, mentors for those still in the midst of the hardships they’ve faced, she said.
“The individuals who came through that program did so not only with their lives enriched,” but the countless people they’ll guide going forward, Elsworth said. “They’ve been there, and they’re helping each other.”
Taking off the mask
Keck leads the Celebrate Recovery women’s addiction small group, volunteering as a sponsor, and she is in training to run a year-long 12-step group.
Everyone who leads has to have first been a participant, Keck said. After she completed her recovery program, leaders asked her about two years ago if she’d like to train to join them. She didn’t hesitate, she said.
“People walked alongside me and wanted the best for me when I was at my worst,” she said. “I want to do for others what was so life-changing for me.”
Since joining Celebrate Recovery six years ago, Keck’s life has improved in ways she never expected. Now a home healthcare provider, she’s just earned her GED, with hopes of one day earning a nursing degree.
Such a thing never felt within her reach, she said, her eyes filling with tears.
She talks about “the little life” she has with a smile. She’s traveled abroad twice on mission trips, feels soothed by the chance to help others after years of feeling so helpless.
It was a journey that began some six years ago, when her then 7-year-old daughter encouraged her to attend church. That little girl had wisdom her mother didn’t know she needed.
Keck connected with the pastor’s message, which talked of God’s acceptance for people just as they are. She considers laying that foundation of faith a turning point for her. Her soul was saved, she said — and with that knowledge, she was able to trust a higher power was watching over her as she weeded the persistent addiction from her life.
She’ll never forget sitting down for the first time, face to face with others on that same path.
“It’s where you can take your mask off and share, whether it’s good or bad,” she said.
And there, she found a kinship she now fosters among the group members she leads.
She wants recovery to be about more than the drugs, temptation and past mistakes. She wants to build a support network for these women on a path she remembers.
“It’s not just about addiction,” she said. “It’s like a sisterhood.”
Breaking down to build up
If he had to guess, Ryan Carlton figures the first time he shot up with heroin, he was 17.
He started drinking and smoking around age 14, following in the footsteps of his father, who died from the effects of alcoholism, but his biggest struggle has been with pills and heroin, he said.
He knows what people mean when they talk about those impossible cravings, the people you’ll hurt and the things you’ll do to satisfy them.
He hopes that level of understanding fosters trust among people trying to get better.
Carlton, 29, is currently training to be a group leader with Celebrate Recovery. He completed his 12-step program last year and has been clean for two.
Before, he used a number of opioids, including prescription painkillers. He knew all sorts of ways to get his hands on the drugs. He went to a prescription pain clinic, doctor-hopped to get more prescriptions.
When all else failed, he coughed up the cash for drugs. Someone always had a few pills to spare for the right price.
It’s all a blur, but at some point, he switched to heroin, he said.
He tried quitting, sat through group therapy meetings that told him to resist temptation, he said. He ached all over every time he tried, the withdrawal making him feel like he had a never-ending flu.
His mind played tricks on him during that haze, his brain ravaged by fever. He began to fear the people around him were plotting to hurt his family.
“I went out of my mind for a while,” he said. “I thought I was going to die or have to be committed.”
Breaking through
Carlton clutched a picture of Jesus, his hands shaking, as he prayed for relief during those days coming off the drugs.
Even through the fog and the misery of the withdrawal, his faith hung on, he said. That led him to try the faith-based Celebrate Recovery group.
He admits he had misgivings.
The first time he attended, it seemed to him like the participants in the group were just play-acting their feelings of happiness. They couldn’t possibly have found such contentment after addiction, he thought. It had to be a show.
He also struggled to understand how people could so openly discuss their struggles, their weaknesses naked before a group of strangers.
Now, he understands his feelings were more about his mental state than about the group members, he said.
He built up his trust with the group as they checked in with him, asking him if he wanted to participate in the talk therapy sessions and helping him along when he couldn’t find the words.
“I was learning how to communicate,” he said. “I was so wrapped up in myself, I wouldn’t break down and talk to nobody.”
The leaders and the participants understood. They coaxed, encouraged and were patient.
And eventually, through a year of completing the 12-step recovery program, Carlton found himself looking forward to the weekly meetings he once dreaded.
He appreciated the positive outlooks of his fellow members, despite their struggles. And he wants others to find that hope in him.
“We know what it’s like to be in the gutter,” Keck said. “We know what it’s like to be where they’re at.”
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Hancock County hosts a number of addiction recovery groups aimed at helping people who struggle with drug or alcohol use find a support system and take steps toward healing.
Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous comprises a 12-step program for those who struggle with alcohol addiction. It is nonprofessional, self-supporting, multiracial and apolitical. There are no age or education requirements. Membership is open to anyone who wants to do something about his or her drinking problem.
The Way Out Club, 226 Cherry St., Greenfield, holds multiple daily meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. To learn more, visit wayoutclub.org or call 317-468-0082.
Celebrate Recovery
A Christ-centered 12-step recovery program meets Thursdays at Brandywine Community Church, 1551 E. New Road. The program combines a large-group worship meeting with gender-separated small group discussions. For more information, visit brandywinechurch.org/celebraterecovery or contact Gina Colclazier at 317-462-4777, ext. 104 or [email protected].
The Landing Place
The Landing Place, 18 W. South St., hosts weekly events that pair worship with a recovery program for the troubles teens face, including addiction, anger, depression, anxiety or family problems.
The Landing is a yearlong, group-based recovery program trademarked by Celebrate Recovery, an adult, faith-based addiction course utilized in thousands of churches across the world, according to its website. The Landing came to Greenfield in 2013 as a branch of the county’s Life Choices Care Center.
Wednesday nights at The Landing feature an open-mic night, dinner, small-group counseling sessions and guest speakers. For more information, visit thelandingplacehc.com or call 317-477-8483.
Narcotics Anonymous
NA is a nonprofit for men and women struggling with narcotics addiction. They meet regularly to help each other stay clean.
Narcotics Anonymous meets in two sites in Hancock County: 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays at Bradley United Methodist Church, rooms 205 and 206, 210 W. Main St., Greenfield; and at 6:30 p.m. Sundays at The Landing Place, 18 W. South St., Greenfield.
For more information, visit naindiana.org.
SMART
Self-Management and Recovery Training, or SMART, is one of the county’s newest recovery options and currently the only option without a faith-based component. SMART, led by Kevin Minnick, crime prevention specialist for the Hancock County Probation office, places the focus on evidence-based scientific processes to help individuals through the work of ending their drug or alcohol addiction.
SMART gives participants tools to change their behavior that are based on the latest medical research into addiction behaviors. Methods to reach patients include online message boards, in-person meetings, 24/7 chatroom sessions and more.
SMART Recovery meets 9 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. Saturdays in the lower-level classrooms of Hancock Regional Hospital, 801 N. State St., Greenfield. For more information, contact Kevin Minnick at 317-319-8810 or [email protected] or Betsy Duncan at 317-626-7719 or [email protected].
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