Linda Dunn
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month with the 20th set aside as “Wear Purple for Domestic Violence Awareness Day.”
We’ve made great progress since the days of our country’s founding when wife beating was not only legal, but socially acceptable behavior. It wasn’t until the 1920s that wife beating became illegal in all states and it wasn’t until the women’s rights movement of the 1970s that society truly began to view domestic abuse as a problem that merited society’s attention.
The national month of recognition was established in 1989, at a time when we were still too often asking victims, “What did you do to make him hit you?” and “Why didn’t you just leave?”
By 1992, domestic violence was recognized as the leading cause of injury for women between the ages of 15 and 44 and about a third of women reporting abuse noted being abused while pregnant (for 1 out of 6, abuse began post-pregnancy). Today, about 20% of women experience violence during pregnancy, with pregnant adolescents and women with unintended pregnancies being at increased risk for violence. [National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)]
These are not just statistics for far too many of us.
In 1970, I married my high school sweetheart and experienced this part of “American culture” firsthand. Like many others, I prefer to be known as a “survivor” rather than a “victim” and note that no one “chooses” to remain in an abusive relationship. We are trapped and escape can feel more dangerous than staying.
Walter Dekeseredy, PhD of sociology at the University of West Virginia and director of the school’s Research Center on Violence, noted that the risk of a woman being killed increases sixfold during the time she attempts to leave her abuser.
He quoted police officers who noted the most frequently heard comment from abusers was: “If I can’t have you, no one can.”
This is why those of us who choose to flee need family/friend/community support and an “escape plan” to remain safe during that critical period of time. Fortunately, there are many sources today that can offer guidance and assistance.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline, www.thehotline.org 800-799-7233 also has a crisis hotline, 988, with text line, 741741.
The Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence has resources and can advise those facing these situations how best to be safe. Be Well Indiana also offers assistance at https://www.in.gov/bewellindiana/video-resources/domestic-violence-support/.
Our local communities in Hancock County have assistance to offer for those in need: Greenfield has partnered with Alternatives, which has a 24-hour crisis line at (866) 593-9999.
Please don’t assume that you’ve not affected if you’ve never been abused yourself. Domestic abuse is merely a symptom of a far bigger problem that too few government officials have noticed while we “survivors” have shouted it from the social media equivalent of the rooftops:
From 2014-2019, 68% of mass shootings perpetrators had a history of domestic violence. The link between domestic violence and mass shootings is undeniable and one of the main reasons why so many of us who support gun rights, draw a line at allowing those convicted of domestic abuse to own guns. We support Extreme Risk Protection Orders and Universal Background Checks because we know from firsthand experience that domestic abusers have unresolved issues that are far too seldom adequately addressed, even with court-ordered counseling.
Guns are the most accessible and effective means that out-of-control people can use to kill and injure others.
While many call this a “mental health issue,” the percentage of abusers who are diagnosed as “mentally ill” is no greater than that found in the general population. The real problem is one that is far more difficult to address:
“Abuse is a learned behavior. Some people witness it in their own families growing up; others learn it slowly from friends, popular culture, or structural inequities throughout our society.” [Voices Against Violence.]
It’s also a serious national public health problem as nearly all healthcare professionals will – sooner or later – evaluate or treat a patient who is a victim of some form of domestic violence.
It is a rare person whose life is not touched in some way or form — whether you recognize it or not — by domestic violence.
Eradicating this problem from our society is often dismissed as an impossible goal; but our country once thought that polio was unstoppable and we have successfully eliminated that. There is nothing we cannot achieve when we are united in our efforts.
Please take advantage of this month of awareness to learn about this issue and what steps we may take to help those trapped in this vicious cycle that needs to be broken.
A lifelong resident of Hancock County, Linda Dunn is an author and retired Department of Defense employee.
