Terry Miller
I had the joy of spending a month with my grandson this summer. He lives in Texas and we don’t get to see each other very often, so this visit was a treat for both of us. We were able to talk, laugh, cuddle, relax and vacation together. He is very talkative and active and kept me on my toes. My house seemed very quiet and empty when he returned home with his parents.
This visit prompted me to think about grandparents who raise their grandchildren. Some are doing it because of temporary family circumstances, such as parents who are moving and need some help with the children while they pack. Others are doing it on a permanent basis, such as following the incarceration or death of the child’s parent. The love a grandparent has for their grandchildren is very strong. They will do anything they can for the child, sometimes to the detriment of their own health and well-being.
These grandparents are to be admired. While younger, they most likely thought about a somewhat easier life once their own children were raised. They looked forward to spoiling their grandchildren and being a fun person in their lives. They did not anticipate being responsible for raising a second family. They did not anticipate having to feed, clothe and keep up with the youthfulness of one or more grandchildren. They did not anticipate the financial and health constraints that sometimes accompany raising grandchildren. They probably discovered that many societal things have changed since they raised their own children. But, again, they will do what they need to do to love their grandchildren and keep them together.
So I think the question becomes, how can we as friends, businesses, and churches support these grandparents? Grandparents, or others, should be comfortable enough to speak up and ask for help. They must learn how to advocate for themselves. What are their physical needs, their basic needs, their work-related needs, and how can they learn how to best support their grandchildren in a society that is ever changing? Perhaps what is needed is a short-term sitter, information about community resources, someone to vent to, someone to share outgrown clothing, or a change in work schedule. It is imperative that these needs be made known. Most people would say that the people of Hancock County are very giving and I have found this to be very true. Once needs are known, there are organizations, churches, and individuals that will assist.
Community resources are available to assist all families. In Hancock County, available resources include clothing, shoes, food, medical assistance, school supplies and many other items. Families can contact the social worker or counselor at their child’s school, Healthy365, their doctor’s office, pastors, Love INC, and many other organizations for the help they need.
Of true benefit is a friend or neighbor who will ask whether they need anything picked up at the grocery store, need babysitting for a couple of hours so the grandparent can have some alone time, whether they can help with homework or a school project, whether they can take the child for a ride in the car, or whether the child can come over to spend time with the neighbor child. These might seem like little things, but will make a world of difference to the grandparent.
The love of a grandparent is extraordinary, and all are to be commended for what they give. Your efforts are noticed and appreciated. You are loved.
Terry Miller, a licensed clinical social worker, is a school social worker at Weston Elementary School in Greenfield.
