Lisa DeFilippo
Hello, friends. My name is Lisa, and I am a mom, among many other things. Before I became a mom almost 12 years ago, I did not have it all figured out. I didn’t even have most of it figured out. But I did a great job of masking it. Fake it ‘till you make it, am I, right—and I absolutely loved being a mom.
First child: beautiful, precious, much-anticipated princess; she was easy peasy. When she was only 16 months old, we were elated and surprised to discover we were pregnant with our son! One of each, such blessings, and life was full—of unexpected stress and worry. Our newborn son had failed his hearing screening and was determined to be profoundly deaf at just six weeks of age. Not a road we had anticipated and definitely not one we knew anything about.
It was quite the adventure trying to affix hearing devices to a baby and toddler (thank you, pilot caps!), manage my daughter, have a husband on night shift, and navigate a brand-new world while grieving the one we so swiftly left behind.
Bye-bye, perfection; hello, super messy.
When he was almost two years old, my sweet deaf boy was diagnosed with nonverbal autism—so let’s just go ahead and make it super-duper messy.
It was in these early trials of parenthood that I had to dig deep and learn, through the mistakes, the heartbreaks and the straight muck, that I couldn’t do it.
But God can.
For me, it was walking through the doors of my local church. It was showing up every week and saying, “Yes, Lord” to new opportunities for growth, friendship, and service, humbling myself with other believers, and reading and living out his word—all the while, fighting the urge to turtle and go back into my shell. It was constantly giving my worries for my kids and their future—our future—over to God, and picking them right back up again.
Every. Single. Day.
Until one day, the handing-over process became a little quicker, a little easier, a little more automatic, and I am blessed with his peace that surpasses all understanding (see Philippians 4:4-7). But I have to remind myself and practice it every day.
Another huge “Yes, Lord” moment led me through the doors of Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered 12-step program designed for literally every single human being on the planet, or for anyone with “hurts, habits or hangups,” held each Thursday night at my church (and various churches across the country).
In working the 12 steps, and in joining a 10-month step study with 16 other women, I have learned that I have spent my entire life centered around pleasing myself and other people, and not around serving Jesus Christ. When you put him first, your life will change; I can attest to it. It’s not a magic pill, it’s not a 30-day challenge, it’s a call to pick up everything, strap your babies (no matter their age) to his back, and follow him every single day.
I bet you have mess somewhere in your lifes as well. Trials come, and as parents, it’s our job to trust in him and do whatever work he puts on our hearts so that we can be the best versions of ourselves for our children. We can’t pour from an empty vessel. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Oh, and, see you Thursday.
Lisa grew up in Centerville, Ind., attended the University of Kentucky where she graduated with a degree in journalism. She enjoyed a career in publishing before marrying her husband, Michael, and deciding to bring their new young family back to the cornfields of the Midwest. Lisa enjoys spending early morning hours in the word, being outdoors with her family, quality time with close friends, good food, and long nature walks. She can be reached at [email protected].
