Teresa Holland
Have you noticed the word “friends” has been cheapened on social media? I have hundreds of online friends. Some have thousands.
But when I went cold-turkey on social media, now I only hear from a few of them. Maybe reasons for this are that “friends” is now a misleading word and easier to spell than “acquaintances.”
Plus, social media, whose main business is to gather your information and reach advertising sales potentials, would be much smaller if only your true friends were in your network.
Realistically, how feasible would it be to spend one-on-one, in-person time with everyone on your friends list? Developing and maintaining friendships take time. How do you feel when certain people “friend” you? Your boss… is that a good or bad thing? What about that co-worker that you already spend more time with than you really want? What do you think might happen if you do not “friend” them? If you are uncomfortable with some of your friend requests, your discomfort is there for a reason.
I found myself pondering more: What is a friend and what is the purpose of a friend?
This might sound too basic, and some might even think the question a little crass; but what do we expect from a friend? This is a fair question, as everyone has expectations whether they admit it or not.
It is healthy to realize that there are different kinds of friends. One of these types are what my grandparents referred to as fair-weather friends. They are mostly there during good times… there for the party. Then there are acquaintances, who sometimes turn into true friends. Most likely though, these are people you know through organizations or shared interests. These are those who are part of your life only on occasion. Sometimes the purpose for this friendship is limited to your sharing of a common interest. This is not usually the true friend that you confide in or visit with in each other’s homes. In fairness though, they might not even know that you have hit a rough spot in life, since you do not share too much personal information with them.
So, what is a true friend? Here are some common elements:
n Someone you connect with based on care, trust, and mutual respect that runs both ways, and grows over time.
n A friend that encourages and offers support in both good times and bad.
n Someone you enjoy spending time with where you can be yourself, sharing laughter, tears, and everything in-between.
n Someone who helps to keep you grounded.
The final litmus test of a true friend is… who can you call at 3 a.m. for an emergency without feeling intrusive, and you know they will be there for you? This is likely the friend or friends that you can count on one hand.
Someone once told me years ago that if you can count your friends on one hand, then you are blessed. She was a smart lady, for I now know this is true.
A true friend is a treasure.
Teresa Holland is a guest columnist, writer and retired advanced-practice registered nurse. Send comments to [email protected].
