By David Wise
For most of us, if we live long enough, we will experience what is often called a crisis of faith — a time when we wonder why God is so silent. We wonder why he won’t answer the prayers we know he could, and we think he should answer.
It’s a time when we cry out like Gilbert O’ Sullivan in his song “Alone Again, Naturally”: “… talk of God and His mercy, well if he really does exist, why did he desert me?”
If this has happened to you, you have good company. Even Mother Teresa admitted to going through a crisis of faith. It happens, normally, as we experience a personal, family or business situation that we are certain will be our ruin. It can be financial, health, or a case of everything seems to be going awry.
I’ve been on my own personal journey this year. In January my prostate cancer, which I thought I had radiated out of my body nine years ago, had returned with a vengeance. A CT scan showed that it had metastasized in my pelvis, spine and left eighth rib. Needless to say, this was very disturbing news.
We immediately began chemo, and I have just recently completed my last treatment. It hasn’t been easy. While I was fortunate in not suffering some of the side effects that many have had, I certainly have had my share — some more debilitating than others. The fatigue, which I would say was the worst, still hasn’t completely left me.
So, why would I be thankful in August of a year that has left me seemingly a shell of my former self? Because I know how blessed I am. I have been prayed for by so many people, I’m pretty sure God is tired of hearing my name.
I am thankful for the hospital caregivers and doctors and nurses who have the knowledge and the wherewithal to treat this cancer. I am thankful for family and friends who have supported me as I traveled this season of my life.
I am thankful for my congregation that has been so kind, so loving and so prayerful. I could never have completed all the rounds of chemo without such a strong network. The cards, the notes, the texts and emails have been amazing.
Most of all, I am thankful for a God who has journeyed with me through the whole experience. I have a God that doesn’t just walk with you through the good times and then abandon you with a promise to meet you on the other side. No, my God walks with me just as the psalmist said: “Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil; for you are with me.”
I have discovered that while we all go through these difficult times, it may very well be that we are there by his appointment, in his presence, and for his purpose. Maybe, it was the way to accomplish something we might not have been able to do in any other way.
That is why I am so thankful in August. I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future. My prayer is you do too.
The Rev. David Wise is pastor of Otterbein United Methodist Church in Greenfield. This weekly column is written by local clergy members. Send comments to [email protected].
