The trepidations and liberations of going gray are real. First, there is the big question: should I do it or not? Then there is: who really cares besides me, and does it matter?
My husband has reminded me over the years that when I was 20 years old, I said I would never color my hair. I think he likes to remind me that I am supposed to look more like him, or that he knew me when. However, when I was 20 years old, I like to think that I knew about a lot of things, but gray hair was certainly not one of them.
In a culture that puts more value on youthful looks, going gray can be thought of as being risky or just plain crazy, especially when we can easily prevent the appearance of the process of aging. The good thing is we have the freedom to choose how to be our best selves. There is no right or wrong. If dyeing your hair, whether male or female, makes you feel at your best, and you say I will never go gray, then good for you. If stepping out of the majority and embracing your gray-silver locks is best for you, then good for you, too. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable and confident in being yourself… at least, that is what I thought.
Perhaps there have been more people lately because of working at home and maybe not wanting to spend the money who are embracing their new ‘au natural’ look, so I am not alone. Lucky me… gray hair is in! My hairdresser claimed that I had a reverse ‘hombre’ going on, and mine was being done free by mother nature. Though my decision to gather my confidence and embark with this new hair trend coincided more with my retirement than a pandemic or fashion.
When I was working, my mother-in-law — a long-time union representative — would always warn me to not stop the hair color until I was retired. She claimed, as do some current employment recruiters, that gray hair in the workplace can be a deterrent. This can be especially true for those over 50 years old interviewing for a new position, though no one would ever admit it. More often graying hair in men is seen in a more positive light. A man might be even referred to as a ‘silver fox,” whereas a woman is simply seen as older or ‘looking her age.’
When I started my own journey, I was surprised by the reactions and comments of others, especially if they had not seen me for a while. When I jokingly replied to my brother that I was going to be something like blonde again, he just laughed and said that is not exactly what he would call it. He then went on to point out that I was probably the first woman in my family to not color my hair. My sister was excited and said gray is in.
Some of the perks in embracing those gray-silver locks are:
saving time and money (though this was not a primary goal)
healthier hair by eliminating chemicals of dye (invest in good hair products to help new natural hair look its best)
shopping for some new clothing to complement my new look (adding in some vibrant colors can complement your new natural hair color and skin tone)
a greater freedom in embracing life at every stage
For those who say never, ever will I stop coloring, that is your freedom and good for you. For those who choose to embrace a natural look, then good for you, too. No matter our age, we should choose what makes us feel comfortable in our own skins.
Just a note, when I started writing as a guest columnist, I was just starting my ‘au natural’ transition. Then as my transition became more complete, I thought that just maybe I was writing somewhat ‘incognito,’ that is until one of my nice church lady friends laughed and pointed out… not a chance. So, I guess now is a good time as any to update my profile picture, since I was not incognito anyway.
