News websites display a parade of catchy headlines motivating us to click on each link to read more. Then we are overwhelmed by provocative ads persuading us to buy various products. Here are some recent eye-catching examples:
The Worst Time of Day to Buy Meat
A Vegetable That Can Remove Rust
The Celebrity Chef Who Admits He’d Eat a Human
How Your Electric Can Opener Can Kill You
Some attention-getters, to be sure, but one in particular on my computer’s homepage really caught my eye:
Home Cooking Increases Longevity
With the coronavirus limiting our access to restaurants, this seemed like positive news. Maybe not to Mary Ellen, but to me.
The article reports that people who cook at home up to five times a week were 47 percent more likely to still be alive after 10 years. I’m no expert, but let me explain why this may be the dumbest study ever done. This will take a few minutes, so if you want to order a pizza for dinner first, no problem.
Apparently, way back in 2002, researchers interviewed 1,800 people, age 65 and older and living in Taiwan, about their dietary habits.
They called the seniors again this year to see how they were doing. Most of the people who had claimed to eat out at least 70 percent of the time could not be reached. Apparently they had died, or so said the scientists.
This is a wild guess, but I bet they were out for dinner when the phone rang at 6 p.m. Or, because they were all near 80, maybe some of them couldn’t get to the phone in time. Am I the only person to think of this stuff?
Here’s the biggest flaw in the study: The Taiwanese who claimed to be cooking at home and living the healthy lifestyle … well, if you think about it, they were probably eating Chinese food about every night, right? They can call it “eating in,” if it makes them feel better, but here in the Wolfsie household, we call that eating take-out.
I’m quite sure that data on the hazards of dining out were not available in the ’50s when I was growing up, which is why my mother was often heard saying to my father, “Would it kill us to go out for dinner once in a while?”
Apparently Dad thought it would. I guess he was not only a cheapskate, but also a visionary.
Our original plan for this evening was to go to a nearby restaurant that has outdoor seating and provides safe distancing. There we would have our usual soup and salad for dinner. But with this new info, I suggested we eat at home, barbecue some ribs and finish off our Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Maybe we won’t live longer, but what a way to go.
Mary Ellen suggested we get take-out.
I reminded her once again that according to the research, it would be a real plus for us if she prepared a home-cooked meal every night of the week.
I believe I am quoting her response accurately: “You should live so long.”
