As Mary Ellen and I sit watching the televised news, we are constantly reminded that we are considered “elderly” and therefore at increased risk of the coronavirus.
As a result, medical experts are suggesting that we stay at home (together) unless it is absolutely necessary that we go out.
What is really at risk is our relationship. Different hobbies, interests and social commitments have always allowed us to keep a modest degree of separation during the day, which has meant that evenings were the perfect time to share our day’s activities, and then spend a couple of hours watching TV (together).
But now, we are home (together) almost all day, stuck with each other (note: Mary Ellen didn’t like the word “stuck” when I showed her this column, so I asked her to come up with a better word. I still haven’t heard back).
Up until this quarantine, we had plenty to watch either on the networks or any of the streaming services we already subscribe to. But now we have had pretty much all day to binge, so it has meant researching some of the other popular programs we’ve missed because we currently have soooo much time (together).
“Mary Ellen, I think I’d like to watch that new series about Captain Jean-Luc Picard.”
“Sorry, Dick, that’s on CBS All Access. We don’t get that service.”
“I have an idea: let’s watch that new documentary on Hillary Clinton.”
“Nope, that’s on Hulu.”
“This is silly. I’m just gonna watch baseball all day.”
“That’s MLB TV. Forty bucks a month. And baseball has been postponed, anyway.”
I tried one more time. “There’s a good show on Apple TV. It’s called…”
“Dick, stop. We don’t subscribe to that service. And don’t even think about the Disney Channel; you can kiss the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse goodbye.”
“Okay, here’s a good one: Better Call Saul.
“That’s on Sling, I think. We don’t have it. Nine dollars a month.”
“Sling? Is that really a thing? Wait, do we get Cozi TV?”
“Yes, we do. Let’s see, today is 12 hours of Gunsmoke and the next 12 hours are Mr. Ed.”
“This is silly. We already pay for Netflix, Amazon and HBO. Let’s watch Steven King’s The Outsiders.”
“We already watched that … nine episodes. Why buy new stuff when you can’t remember what you saw a month ago?”
Just for fun, I added up the cost of every cable and streaming service I could possibly subscribe to, which got me to about $650.00 a month. I figured it would be a lot cheaper if Mary Ellen and I went to the movies every day instead — unless we bought popcorn, of course.
Oh, wait, we’re not supposed to leave the house unless it is absolutely necessary. But after a week inside (together), I’m beginning to think it will be.
